Anything But That
by rekkanotara
Summary: The bronze saints discover fanfiction about them.
1. Part One

**Disclaimer:** Alrighty, I'm sure everyone knows that I don't own the characters or storyline associated with the cartoon Saint Seiya/ Knights of the Zodiac. I'd like to be so lucky and as such, I am not making any money off of this. I am just borrowing the characters for a good ol' run around the park. 

**Author Note:** Why me? Why me? Why me? * Ahem * oh hello there, don't pay attention to the screamin'... It don't mean a thing... Anyways, this is another attempt at humor on my part. Hahaha I'm trying to put all the obvious fics in this section before anyone else... Although I haven't read all of the fics and well, that could just blow my plans out of the water. Yippee! I finished making a great Saint Seiya Hades music video :) Maybe I should put it on Kazaa or something... What do all of you think? I just wanna share with the fans :) Finally, I wanted to thank FireEdge, Tatara Rose, Frontier of Darkness, and all the fans and fanfic writers for inspiring me beit with your own great works, words of wisdom, and just plain addiction to Saint Seiya (or is that just me?).

**Anything But That**

**By: Rekkanotara**

The dimly lighted room was quiet except for the occasional beep that came from the computer in the middle of the room. It was enough solitude and quiet to drive anyone crazy. 

Tatsumi rubbed his hand over his melon of a head as sweat began to build up. He growled in frustration as he glared at the computer screen, "Damn it! Who really cares what the public thinks about those little brats? Ms. Saori doesn't need them; I mean I am perfectly capable of fighting off anyone who would dare to harm her." He sat back in the chair and heard a slight rustling behind him which caused him to turn around to see who was there. Finding no one, Tatsumi returned to his original position in front of the monitor with his head in his hands and elbows placed firmly on the desk.

Little did he know, Seiya had placed a small sign on the man's back which read, 'Whistle if my head is blinding you.' Seiya had slapped it on his back earlier that morning and for most of the day, Tatsumi couldn't understand why so many people felt like whistling today.

Down the hall in Saori's office; Seiya, Shiryu, Shun, Ikki, and Hyoga were all awaiting the report detailing how the public felt about the saints. They had originally gotten curious about it a few minutes ago as Shun was surfing the internet and discovered stories about the saints which he recalled were titled fanfiction. Of course he hadn't gotten the opportunity to read more than a couple stories as he was currently intrigued by this one particular author's story on Seiya's relationship with Saori.

Ikki and Seiya were busy off near the window of the room having a very heated arm wrestling match. Hyoga and Shiryu were watching the two intently as one of them would likely have to go up against the winner of this match.

Saori was sitting at her desk next to Shun and her personal computer reading a book. Occasionally, she would glance at the screen to see her name paired quite a few times with Seiya's. It was enough to make her blush; of course the others couldn't tell as she was doing a very good job at hiding her face within the book she held. Any second now, she'd probably discover that the book she held was upside down.

~*~ 

The reports had finally come in and the last few pages were now being printed. Tatsumi let out a strained breath as he was getting rather tired with such tedious duties. He picked up the first page of the report and began to skim over the information gathered from the internet. He got even more frustrated when his suspicions were shown to be true every other line on the page read, 'Shun, Shiryu, Seiya, Hyoga, and Ikki are so cute.' Tatsumi merely grumbled as he noticed his name was clearly mentioned even less in the fandomonium. He roughly slapped the page back on top of the pile and began to dig deeper into the stack of papers. At that point, his eyes couldn't get enough information and his mouth twitched into a disconcerting smile. Two words kept running through his head as he bounded off to Saori's office; _angst _and _yaoi_.

Shiryu and Ikki were now wrestling as Hyoga was helping to cool the pain in Seiya's fist. Seiya knew Ikki just got a bit carried away and didn't mean to slam his fist through the edge of the table, breaking off a small chunk of the table with the force, but somehow, all of Ikki's apologies did nothing to relieve the pain he was feeling.

Shun had just finished reading the finale to his story on the computer and was getting ready to click on another when a rather evil looking Tatsumi flew into the room, flinging the door wide open and carrying an arm load of papers in his arms.

Seiya quickly walked casually over to the larger man and swiftly removed the sign that was still attached to the man's back. The Pegasus saint knew that it was only a matter of time before the ogre of a man discovered the note and went after him. Seiya didn't feel like dealing with Tatsumi at the moment with his hand hurting as it did. And besides, Tatsumi seemed to be in an overly and eerily happy mood.

Saori was the first to speak up as everyone else continued to stare, "Is that all of it Tatsumi?"

Tatsumi replied, "Yes lady Saori and I believe you will all find page 47 very interesting and from then on, it only gets better and better." He extended his arm to relinquish himself of the heavy load onto the desk in front of his employer Saori Kido.

~*~

Tatsumi moved to stand besides Saori as everyone except for Shun had begun whistling a disturbing set of whistles indeed which caused the larger man to become uncomfortable and seek refuge near his boss.

Saori's face lit up as the others gathered around the desk eager to learn the results of their analysis of the stories gathered on the internet about them. Hyoga couldn't wait for Shun to finish reading because he to was interested in how the fans viewed him and all his glory.

Shiryu spoke up hoping to gain more information about why Saori was now smiling and had a goofy look in her eyes, "So what's it say?"

Shun couldn't help smiling also as he watched curious scene unfolding before him.

Saori began, "Well, it says that all of you are seriously hot babes." She flipped from page to page to page as they all basically said the same thing. Skipping ahead, she began to read aloud, not realizing what she was reading; "There needs to be more Shun fics and more Shun torture please..."

Shun stepped back slightly, taken aback by the comments just made about him. He couldn't believe it, the fans actually wanted to read more about him, but they wanted him to get hurt. Scrunching up his nose as tears threatened to slide down his cheeks, Shun whined, "What have I ever done to them to make them hate me so much?"

The large file was now split up; a small portion in each of the hands of the bronze saints.

Shiryu blushed a little as he had read the summary of a story in which he and Shun seemed to be a pair. He stepped away from the desk so that Shun wouldn't have an easy way to read his papers as well as Saori's.

Seiya seemed to be grumbling as he paced in front of the desk, "Why are there so many stories about me and Shaina?" He thought to himself even more complex thought processes coming into play.

- - - - 

Well, I didn't want to stop here but I keep falling asleep. Is 2 hours of sleep per night enough to keep me sane or not? There is definitely another part to this story for those of you who are interested and I will try incredibly hard to get it up as soon as possible.


	2. Part Two

**Disclaimer:** I don't own em. I don't own em. I don't own em.... Hey get off me Shun! Wait, what are you doing with those scissors? Now you stay away from me. I don't like that look you got on your face. (Backs away nervously desperately looking towards the door) Aww forget this.......aggghhhh! Help! Shun and scissors do not make a good combination! Sigh It's always the quiet ones....

**Author Note:** Yay! I'm done with school for the summer then back to having over a full load of units to drive me completely mad. But in the meantime, I now have some time to update my stories which I've been neglecting... I was beginning to think this depression would never end, but I can still feel it lurking in the back of my mind. I'm hoping that writing my stories will help to give me some peace of mind. Thanks to all who reviewed, I really enjoyed and appreciated the feedback.

**Anything But That (Part Two):**

**By Rekkanotara**

After about twenty minutes of mindless reading, everyone in the room stood or sat completely still wherever they were. Seiya and Saori were exchanging similar nervous glances; each one sporting a pair of scarlet cheeks.

Hyoga couldn't help it, but as he read, his mouth dropped open and stayed open only closing to prevent the ever embarrassing drool puddle from forming. He had just finished reading a story in which he and Ikki were an item of sorts. _How in the world do they think we could ever get in that position? Oh my ggooo..... ewwe.... ouch..... awww, that's just sick._ Thinking to himself, Hyoga absently tossed half his pile next to where he was sitting. He had to take a minute to absorb what he had just read. Catching a quick peak over at the other main character featured in the stories with him, Hyoga couldn't help but stare at Ikki for a little and thinking _what if_ before shaking his head in order to rid himself of the images that would surely stay with him for a while.

Ikki seemed to be having better luck with his stack of stories because he had the weirdest grin on his face, but then again, any grin on Ikki's face was weird.

Ikki couldn't help but smile. He had caught Hyoga staring at him a minute ago and felt a small laugh threaten to come out. Speaking directly towards Hyoga, he asked, "Hey Hyoga, I never knew you were the surfer type... "

Hyoga looked up confused. Unconsciously, he began to blush at his friend's comment and mentally kicked himself for doing so. _Damn it! Keep it together Hyoga. Remember, it was just a story and nothing more....Wait.... did he say surfer???_ "What do you mean surfer type?" he asked immediately placing the rest of his stack on the table. Luckily, he had been interrupted from the story he was just on which featured him and Shun as a couple before he could get to any of the detailed parts.

Hyoga walked over to Ikki's spot on the corner of the desk, absently grabbing the story which Ikki was flapping up in the air for him to see.

Coming out of their stupors as well, the rest of the saints looked on at the two amused, especially since each of them had read a story in which Hyoga ended up talking like a surfer and knew exactly what the Ikki was talking about.

Thinking aloud as he read along, Hyoga couldn't believe what he was reading, "Now has anyone ever heard of a Russian surfer?!? How would one even talk, I mean geez! Just because I have long blonde hair, people associate me with all sorts of things." Wrinkling his brow and biting his bottom lip as he finished up the short little story, Hyoga just slapped the story on the desk face down and partly out of reading the phrase so much and partly to see what it sounded like, he sighed as he tried to pronounce the word 'dude' as best he could.

This earned him a room full of laughter as Ikki and Seiya were now on the floor rolling around in fits of laughter.

Shiryu watched on and was trying to keep a straight face but Saori could see small tears threatening to come.

Saori couldn't keep her composure either and ended up laughing into her arms on the desk and pounding her hand on the desk.

Shiryu finally broke as Saori's outburst next to him caused him to lose what self control he had left.

Tatsumi all the while just stood there staring at everyone and thinking, _adolescent fools and this is who the people want to read about?...argh, grumble, argh...._

Shun was the first to stop laughing as he had a couple of questions on his mind and the scowl Hyoga was giving all of them spoke of lots of unpleasantness to come later on.

Still chuckling a little Seiya seemed to follow Shun's lead, but before Shun could get a word out, Seiya blurted out, "Now what I don't get is why everyone thinks that Shaina and I would make such a great couple.... I mean she's pretty and all, but she hates my guts....."

"Oh yeah! Try being compared to a girl." Shiryu countered. "I'm sorry, but just because I have long flowing hair does not mean that I look like a girl, I mean Aphrodite looks more like a girl than I do and if I'm not mistaken, he even puts make up on as well."

"Relax you guys, they're just stories. They aren't really what the people think of us." Ikki replied.

Everyone seemed to take this into account but Ikki was silently hoping that he was right, because all of the things he had read about himself were a bit demented and a little graphic...

Finally, sensing a good a time as any to voice his questions, Shun spoke up, "Hey guys... umm, what does yaoi mean??? I mean there are a lot of stories here with Hyoga and myself and I really didn't get a chance to read them yet, because I wanted to know it meant, seeing as how it's mentioned quite a bit.

"Well, you see Shun... Yaoi is........." Seiya began but was just a quickly silenced by Shiryu who had yelled out Seiya's name at the same time as Ikki and planted his hand firmly over Seiya's mouth, leaving the rest of Seiya's sentence a mumbled mystery.

Saori turned to the young saint sitting besides her and tried to grab the papers from Shun's hands without him noticing. All the while she was spouting off nonsense at him, "Umm, well, Shun, dear... it means really good friends." Silently, she let out a breath as she had managed to swipe all the stories from Shun's innocent hands.

Shun seemed to be ok with that explanation and was grinning wildly.

That is until Tatsumi spoke up after having enough Shun babying, "That's not what it means twerp; what it really means is that you and Hyoga................"

Ikki had cut the taller man off before jumping on him and yelling, "Tatsumi!!!"

The next thing anybody knew, Tatsumi and Ikki were on the floor. Tatsumi was struggling to get free of Ikki's headlock and the endless noogies as Ikki mercilessly pounded into the head of the older man while holding his mouth shut with his other hand. He'd be damned if he was going to let anyone taint his little brother's naive personality before he was ready for it.

Suddenly, Ikki heard his brother's voice ringing in his head; "But Ikki, I wanna know what he was going to say......" Shun spoke crossing his arms and pouting an adorable pout.

Hyoga came up to him in a slight daze and put a comforting arm around the younger green-haired saint. Reassuringly, Hyoga spoke into Shun's ear, "Don't worry about it Shun, you know how much Tatsumi likes to lie about things and mess with your head."

Seiya picked up another story after dusting himself off and standing up to clear the way for the struggling duo that was Ikki and Tatsumi. Thinking nothing of Tatsumi getting the living daylights pummeled out of him, Seiya began to read. After reading the first few lines, he blurted out in a frustrated tone, "I'm telling you guys, what's with everyone thinking about me and Sha...ai...na..... !? oh.... The last part coming a little slower as Seiya was expecting to be reading another story coupling him and Shaina, but instead found the other person to be....Saori.

Saori quickly tried to grasp the papers out of Seiya's hands as she didn't want to feel anymore embarrassed than she already was. However, when she made a mad dash for the papers, Seiya moved out of the was as if to sit on one of the chairs in the room, clearly intrigued by the story in his hands; she ended up face down in dust bunnies.

oO

Well there you have it. Another small chapter for those of you who wanted it I really can't think of anything to write though right now. I was thinking about putting the gold saints into this story somehow, but I really don't know enough about their own relationships/stories/backgrounds myself. If you think I should (even though my writer's block is preventing me from seeing it) put them into the story somehow, feel free to review or email me for any background information of the gold saints would be well appreciated. Or if you want to tell me how horrible my story is, I still await your reviews. Thanks all!


	3. Author Note

**Author Note: **Just to let everyone know; I unchecked the box so that all of you anonymous reviewers who ever dreamed of flaming my stories or wanted to leave a nice 'you're a nutcase' message can now do so. A BIG THANK YOU to Soon to be world renowned Gracie for telling me about this I had absolutely no idea I left it on. Also, I haven't forgotten about my stories.....really I haven't....please don't hurt me Oo I just had a nasty little trojan virus on my computer but now it's gone and I'm furiously working to update my stories.

Thanks Again ---- Rekkanotara


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